Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdomAristotle
The ever-evolving experiences and changes unique to each of us leads us to form connections with others in all capacities at different stages of our life. Whether it is a friendship, work related or a connection of a romantic nature holds a a perspective we’re not naturally inclined to see, what is overseen is transformative in self-awareness for it is key knowledge of yourself mirrored back to you in another. Ultimately every relationship you have is a relationship with you.
If you think about the connections you have had progressively over time as you’ve been growing as a person you will notice aspects of these relationships reflective of the changes in you too or where there is a lack of. For someone who allowed a significant other to lie, cheat and hurt them cannot deny their acceptance of that behaviour stems from a lack of self-worth, fear of loneliness or denial in the hope that the validation of love will eventually come. An understanding of these issues could never materialise without the other person invoking these emotions to rise in you, giving you the opportunity to confront. When ready to acknowledge these things within ones self is the first step taken towards personal healing and self-growth, the connections that follow these personal developments are inevitably going to equip one to approach connections differently in higher esteem than the relationships before. With a firm stance in high self-worth and self-respect, how one could possibly hold the space for anything less than what they are projecting will be temporary at the very least.
Redirecting the view of relationships away from another person’s behaviour back to its internal significance within you isn’t always easy to do in isolated situations which is where patterns may provide the insight for you. The negative experiences that repeat themselves in different connections is only representing the static change in you which will continuously cycle until it is acknowledged and addressed by you.