A secure connection will never be found in the plays of emotional immaturity. If emotional stability in a connection is what you desire, recognise the triggers that keep you looped in the cycles of the pull & push dynamics, breadcrumbing, mind games, ghosting patterns and the like. If it causes you a state of emotional upset, confusion or acting out in fear of losing someone it’s NOT signalling there is something wrong about you as a person or that you are un-lovable, it surfaces the innate feeling of invalidation.
Being aware of what underlies your emotional response in these connections will help you realise what wounds exist within you that seek healing external to you.
If you fear being alone you will find yourself entertaining others that string you along with no intention to commit because a little bit of a connection is better than no one at all so you’ll put up with the minimal effort given in the hope it translates to a full commitment.
If you don’t see yourself as loveable until and only when someone else shows interest or affection, you’ll be in emotional turmoil, in desperation of reassurance when that is pulled away from you until they come back around to you which can span out over long period of time until someone permanently steps down from the vicious cycle.
If you don’t place yourself in high value, you will continue being an available option to those who are keeping their selection open.
Being self-aware of your emotional response firstly enables a more rational approach to any situation, secondly, just the recognition gets you on track to healing those unresolved insecurities and thirdly you become wiser and will naturally see yourself setting boundaries, detaching, forgiving and letting go, all in all setting the benchmark for the stable connection you do deserve.
Love,
Glenda

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