Your attempt to heal and open the heart of another who is incapable of loving you in the nurturing way your heart deserves will eventually teach you how
to love yourself. The love that one withholds intentionally or not is by no means a negative representation of them as a person nor is this article directed to personally attack those of subject. The reality is that we all experience life in unique ways which builds the way we perceive, respond, believe and express ourselves in the world. Therefore, one’s inability to express love is an extrapolation of their own set of past experiences or beliefs which is the best way they can be in life at this stage in their life from the level of awareness and growth at that point in time in their personal journey.
The connections in our lives are generally a reflection of our state of being and we will continue to encounter different connections romantic or not at different stages in life that all serve a purpose in our own personal evolution should we see it that way.
In a connection where there is an imbalance in emotional security, trust, respect and love brings out either expressive communication, internalised silence or plain conflict in the hope of adjusting and correcting the needs of each party which is sometimes successful in resolving disharmony in healthy curcumstances. However, there are circumstances where all attempts are exhausted and you’re left with settling in acceptance or motivated to ‘fix’ the other person in the hope of reaching your desired outcome of a happy balanced relationship or person. You can display love and affection, express and expect reciprocation and find yourself consistently blocked, at times presenting yourself as a vice for someone else to project their issues on. Ultimately, you can give and give until you’re empty and blue, but understand you’re fighting a
battle you will never win. It is only until your lack of self-value is in question from a place deep inside you. We all understand that it is incredibly hurtful to feel unloved/unwanted in any sense but in that discomfort lies the realisation that in
all of its sadness, the responsibility to open a heart, to give and receive love relies solely on the one whom is unable to love. Whether or not
they choose to partake in the self-work required to experience a level emotional fulfillment in their lives is completely up to them, never you.
The point to which this awareness is developed on your part is where a lesson of self-love or lack of is taught and propositioned for action which some of us choose to ignore and find ourselves looping around the same cycles or in the same relationship dynamics until we’re ready to understand the full teaching of what is being presented and honour ourselves. Where your self-value is compromising your peace and happiness is where you need to let go of what you can not control with love, understanding and compassion for all parties involved, meaning you too. This dejection not only gives you the opportunity to open yourself to receiving what you do deserve but also gives the other person an opportunity to confront the roots of their own unhappiness.
One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul
Our happiness and self-work is our own responsibility, when we seek it out in others or try it will never be found, happiness starts with ourselves and the actions and steps we take should always be motivated by that.
Love, Glenda xx