Are you brave enough to admit the enemy holding you back in your own life is you? Perhaps you’re unconscious to the degree it plays out in your life like most people are. The fears and insecurities we have holds us hostage making us take the back seat to our own lives enabling sabotaging mechanisms to take control, running the risk of dedicating the rest of our lives to destroying it. Recognising that we are the saboteur in our own life in it’s self is a step forward in our growth.
The prospect of happiness sparks raw passionate energy that excites us, motivates goals, drives us to make changes and dream big. We see people reach their desires and successes every day and the reality is each and every one of us can acquire everything our heart desires too. The people who meet their success don’t always achieve it easily, we subconsciously reinforce a view of our own self-worth which sees those with a lack of self-esteem blinded to the potential and those with a strong sense of self thriving through the fear.
Self-Sabotage is when we say we want something & then go about making sure it doesn’t happen” – Alyce Cornyn-Selby
Where we are scared of failure, scared of getting what we want because it might actually make us happy to which can be stripped away or where we are set in the belief that we aren’t deserving will emerge in a range of behavioral ways where our ‘fears’ will seek ultimate sabotage with great success. It is essentially achieving its purpose to protect us from what our inner self is dictating what we can and can’t have at a level beyond our logical mind. Self-sabotage can manifest in negative thoughts, self-doubt, procrastination, excuses, over-indulgence, declining experiences, settling for less, denying connections, withholding love, avoidance, ignornace, resistance and other forms of destructive behaviour. These fears can be inherited from past experiences or created by our own perception of ourselves and how we view the world, understanding the ‘why’ is personal for all of us and in that understanding yields great empowerment to correct, control, heal and conquer our fears.
The reality is fear will always be a part of our lives but we certainly don’t need to live a life victim to it. Primitively, fears can protect us and keep us alive with survival intelligence. The other response to fear is subjective to each individual and their emotional make-up. We place a negative connotation around fear and no doubt it is, especially when it wreaks havoc and takes control of our lives . What we fail to see is that fear functions to serve us, it’s our core internal sense of self that dictates how that fear is projected. These negative aspects are attributed to the people we are today and is a completely normal human trait and in addition to our positive characteristics, it is the acceptance of both elements that make us whole authentic beings. Ultimately, fear is our teacher guiding us towards it’s polar opposite where we’ll find our desired outcome or better than what we expected through our self-healing . Without the duality of fear and success we would not know what strength and success really is and we would never truly appreciate the integral process it provides as part of our own personal growth.
The INLP Center has a great video in overcoming self- sabotaging behaviour by applying the AHA process to end process self-sabotage as well as other insightful tutorials, resources and articles – https://inlpcenter.org/aha-process-self-sabotage/.
Love, Glenda x